By Dan Dzide
Marriage = 90% spiritual +10% physical
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Something worries me a great deal – the senseless rate at which marriages are collapsing these days. When I look around my hometown, for example, I can literally count on my finger tips the marriages which are still standing firm.
Has the demon of marriage destruction suddenly become more aggressive? What is the real cause of this sad situation?
The answer is blowing in the wind, much closer to us than we think. The bottom line is that most marriages today are simply more physical than spiritual.
If sexual appeal is the only basis for asking the hand of a girl in marriage, then you may be heading for a difficult relationship.
Take the case of Mary (not her real name). She is well into her thirties. She has had a child from an earlier marriage but now she is single.
She recently met a young man who has expressed interest in her. She is, however, not taking time to know him well enough. The attraction between the two has degenerated into a sexual relationship mainly.
If such a relationship results in marriage, will it stand the test of time? Hemant Joshi’s description of marriage fits into this type of relationship when he said, “after marriage, husband and wife, become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but they still stay together.”
What about Jonas? He is well over 37 years and still not married. He already has three children from three different broken relationships and from the look of things, he is still looking for an ideal wife.
Interestingly enough, he starts every new relationship with sex but an ideal wife comes only to an ideal man. I have known him to have started and broken off seven new relationships already.
What does the future hold for him? Lest I forget. Mary and Jonas are regular Mass attenders. But what is it that they are missing out? But do they practise what they hear at Mass every Sunday?
The SPIRITUAL dimension of their relationship is simply missing. Friendship, courtship and marriage were established by God in the first place and so this is a spiritual exercise.
Many people seem to have forgotten this fact. Proverbs 31 spells out for us the spiritual dimension of marriage. Verse 30, for example, says, “charm is deceptive and beauty disappears, but a woman who honours the Lord, should be praised.”
All men should therefore be on the lookout for women who love God. The task may not be easy but it is worth the trouble
“How hard it is to find a capable wife. She is worth far more than jewels, Her husband puts her confidence in her and he will never be poor.”
When you find a good wife, keeping her also comes with a lot of responsibilities and the Bible even teaches us how to keep a wife happy.
“Her children show their appreciation and her husband praises her. Give her credit for all she does. She deserves the respect of everyone”
When you find yourself falling in love, first, check the spiritual dimension of the friendship. Will God be glorified by your relationship? Will other Christians in your neighbourhood be strengthened spiritually? Is the relationship opening you up for the demon of destruction of marriages to pitch camp in your home and heart?
Mother Theresa was right when she said, “the family that prays together, sticks together.”
Tell me, do you see signs that your partner will pray with you and for you when your friendship finally materializes into marriage?
Remember, marriage is 90% spiritual and only 10% physical.
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